


What if...

by Leylalia



Category: Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Major Illness, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leylalia/pseuds/Leylalia
Summary: The realization that his boyfriend might die strikes Pietro and he is not sure how to deal with it.---Since I know Severe/Terminal Illnesses can be quite difficult I left the ending open. In my mind Remy survives just fine, though, and all will be good, because I need happy ends





	1. Chapter 1

It took a while until it sank in. It had been over a week of just knowing that the situation wasn't good, it had been days since they talked about it, but the thoughts of it only blossomed now, when it was late and he was alone, and a wave of 'what if's and 'why's and anger and fear, crushing numbing fear, and sorrow came crashing down on him, leaving him gasping and hollow as he stared into the dark of the night, standing on the balcony, fingers digging into the balustrade.   
He didn't really care that his fingers ached as the nails came into hard contact with the metal, he was just kind of existing there and thinking. He was afraid, so afraid.

It wasn't his life which was in danger, but maybe that made it even worse. Because he knew that he could lose so much he cared about and still live with just a hollow place in his heart.

 

Funnily enough, all the time he pictured the future he thought it would be him for sure who would fall ill, never Remy. And now that he wasn't the one, now that something so surprising and improbable had happened he just didn't know what to do and how to act.

Of course, maybe all would be well, but the night brought time to think and time to worry about things that could happen, about things they could not change even if they wanted to.  
A drop of water fell onto his knuckles. He glanced up into the sky, noticing that there were only stars seen and no clouds at all...


	2. Chapter 2

Remy woke up when he felt Pietro slip back into bed. He relaxed again and closed his eyes, didn't make a sound. He hadn't noticed how his boyfriend had gotten up but it happened sometimes in the night, it was nothing unusual. Not with a speedster who needed not that much sleep.

The feet were cold but Remy only suppressed a shiver and leant back towards his boyfriend who was cuddling into his back, arm draped loosely over his side.

It was only after a few seconds that Remy felt something warm and wet on his neck where Pietro's hot breath was hitting his skin. Then he noticed the breathing coming faster, and heard a suppressed sound, felt small tremors running through the speedster's body, which felt almost like vibrations, a bit like the times Pietro had a hiccup. While usually it was a funny spectacle, right now it only made him worry.

»’tro...« He murmured quietly and as he wanted to turn around he felt the hand on his side tighten and dig into his shirt.

»Don't...« Came the quiet and broken voice from behind Remy. »Don't.. Please. Just-« another tremor of hiccups went through his body and Remy let out a quiet breath and closed his eyes in worry. 

»Pietro... Please. Just let me hug you back...«

It took way too long for a speedster until Pietro let go of Remy just long enough so the Cajun could turn around and hug his boyfriend. 

Remy stroked over his back and squeezed his side, slid his hand over his back and up to his hair, fingers tangling in the white locks, which curled so pretty when Pietro was lying in bed.

That apparently opened the gates for Pietro, who now sobbed loudly and hugged Remy tightly, buried his face in his neck. Remy squeezed his eyes shut and held him close, felt also tears slip from his eyes.

»I can't, Remy... I can't-« Pietro got out between his sobs and Remy stroked through his hair.  
»I can't lose you... Please... Please don't go... Please don't leave me alone. I just couldn't manage... I don't want to be, but I'm afraid...«

Remy couldn't speak. Pietro was emotional but he never did have such outbreaks which left him vulnerable, not if he could help himself... It was hard to see him like this, especially if Remy knew he couldn't do anything.   
He couldn't lie to Pietro, couldn't promise him it would be alright if he didn't know if it would be... Didn't know what he could say to make it better... So he just held him, kissed his temple, and stroked over his back.

»I love you, cher. I will always love you, you know that. And you're gonna be alright, you're a great guy... You're going to be okay...« He whispered and held his eyes closed, hugged Pietro tightly and tried to memorize the feeling.   
He wasn't sure if he was going to be okay. But he knew he would give his best, just so he could see Pietro smile again...

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote these chapters a while ago to cope with something. I have not forgotten my still running gamquick ff and I do still plan on finishing that, I just don't really manage to do much writing right now, sorry! (All's well, don't worry, I'm just not good at writing regularly


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